Preparing Your Child for Therapy
Preparing Your Child for Therapy
“You Can’t Make Me Go!”
“You Can’t Make Me Go!”
Talking with your child about starting therapy can feel challenging, especially if they are anxious, hesitant, or unsure about what to expect. Talking openly about why therapy may help can make the process feel more comfortable and less uncertain. These practical tips can help you have an open, supportive conversation and make your child’s first therapy experience feel less intimidating.
Before your child’s first visit, it may help to take a Virtual Tour of our office together so the space feels more familiar.
Before your child’s first visit, it may help to take a Virtual Tour of our office together so the space feels more familiar.
Ten Tips on How to Talk to Children and Teens About Starting Therapy
If your child responds with worry, resistance, or even says, “You can’t make me go!” these practical strategies can help you start the conversation.
1. Be honest. Some parents are tempted to avoid telling their child they are starting therapy. However, if children arrive at the therapist’s office and realize they were misled, they may feel angry or distrustful. Talk openly with your child about coming to therapy, why you think it may be helpful, and what you hope will improve. Starting with honesty helps set the tone for a more positive experience.
2. Listen to your child’s concerns. Sometimes parents can become so focused on getting a child to therapy that they forget to listen to the child’s worries about the process. Simply feeling heard can reduce anxiety and give you a chance to answer questions such as, “What if I do not like my therapist?” “What will I be asked to do?” or “How long will I need to go?”
3. “You’re miserable, let’s do something about it.” Children, like adults, do not enjoy feeling anxious, sad, angry, or frustrated. Focusing on their distress and the possibility of feeling better can help them see therapy as useful. You might say, “I know things have felt hard lately. I think therapy may help things feel better and go more smoothly at home and/or school.”
4. Allow your child to feel a sense of control. Children may feel powerless when they are told they must see a psychologist. Give them appropriate choices when possible, such as whether they like the therapist, whether they want to meet another clinician, or how much of the session they would like a parent to attend. Even small choices can make therapy feel less threatening. Of course, only give your child control about things that are actually flexible.
5. Psychologists are for everyone. Children may worry that seeing a therapist means something is wrong with them or that they are the only one who needs help. Reassure them that psychologists help people with many different challenges and that there is nothing embarrassing about getting support. Normalize therapy as one way people take care of themselves and let them know that although some people may choose to keep therapy private, seeing a psychologist is not uncommon.
Helping your child know what to expect beforehand and feel heard can make the first visit feel much more manageable. A little preparation can help them approach therapy with greater comfort and confidence.
Helping your child know what to expect beforehand and feel heard can make the first visit feel much more manageable. A little preparation can help them approach therapy with greater comfort and confidence.
6. Explain what will happen. Not knowing what to expect can make therapy feel intimidating. Before the first visit, share information about where they are going, how long the session will last, who will be there, and whether you will join part of the meeting. The more predictable the experience, the less threatening it may seem.
7. Liken the process to a medical concern. Many children understand going to a doctor when something hurts or is not working well. Explain that seeing a psychologist is similar in that it is another way of getting help when emotional or behavioral concerns are making life harder. You might compare it to seeing a dentist for a toothache or a dermatologist for a rash.
8. Relate to your child or teenager. If appropriate, share a brief example of a time when you saw a psychologist, sought therapy, or asked for help yourself. A simple, supportive disclosure can normalize the experience without making the conversation about you. Keep what you share brief, age-appropriate, and reassuring.
9. Make therapy time more pleasant. When possible, pair therapy with something enjoyable, such as one-on-one time with a parent, dinner out, or another small activity. This can make the routine of coming to therapy more pleasant.
10. Let them know the therapist is on their side. Children sometimes worry that the therapist is working for their parents or teachers rather than for them. Remind your child that the therapist is there to understand their concerns, support them, and help make life easier. This can help them see the psychologist as an advocate rather than an adversary.
We want you and your child to feel as comfortable as possible throughout the therapy process. Please do not hesitate to let your therapist know if there is anything we can do to put you and your child more at ease.
Ready to take the next step?
If you have questions about therapy for your child or teenager, we’re here to help. We offer a free phone consultation to answer your questions, discuss your concerns, and help match your family with the clinician who best fits your needs.